Midlife Crisis

This topic was very interesting to learn about because as we talked about the patterns in a person's life and the stages a person goes through, it was humbling to realize that life is short and I want to make the most of each precious moment.

I suppose that this is what someone going through a midlife crisis might be thinking. When people go through their midlife years they tend to consider how much time they have left--not the valuable time that has already past. Their thoughts might be directed at all the things they didn't do instead of all the things they did do. They might remember all the things they thought they wanted to do when they were younger that never became a reality. Now their life seems to be drawing to a close (this realization may be brought on by their children leaving the house, their children marrying or having children, or recognizing the fact that their bodies are aging). In some cases, it is almost like they are making a last-ditch effort to make the most of their life.

This is where the notorious big expenses come into play. The elaborate vacations, the fancy new car, and the house they always wanted may show up at this time in their lives. We may wonder, why can't someone who is going through this just be happy with the life they have lived for so many years? It wouldn't be hard to imagine them just simply living the same way the did before! When looking at the big scheme of things--the eternal perspective, if you will--a midlife crisis may seem foolish.

But one must remember a few details. It is true that when someone starts a family it seems that all resources are poured into the children and the family's well-being. Time, energy, money, and stresses are expended for the success of the family unit. All other personal goals and dreams are placed on the back burner. Once the family seems to be stable, the temptation to return to those past dreams (or new dreams and goals) becomes very potent. And why not? There are several contributing factors to this natural experience. A person in their midlife may be experiencing a sense of loss. They may feel they are losing their sense of self. Their youth! Their health! So much time has elapsed! Where did it go? Wasn't it completely swallowed up in his/her family? But what about them? As the years seem to be depleting, one might experience depression and anxiety. A sense of urgency may arise. "I must make the most of the time that is left," they might reason. A desire to leave a legacy behind or experience those things they may have missed out on, or might miss if they don't act soon, may be instilled.

Whatever the case, the name of the issue is still representational: A midlife crisis is a crisis to be dealt with. It is a hard situation to be in! But this is where priorities must be considered. What is really important? Yes, you may have spent the majority of your life raising a righteous posterity and let other things go, but wasn't that because you valued the sanctity of the family unit more than your personal desires? Didn't you feel joy and rejoicing in your posterity? Isn't that what helped you choose to be your best? Don't grandparents still love to see their grandchildren and children? The gospel and plan of happiness is all about families. Living right and seeing your family live right is REAL happiness.

This is often confused when someone reaches that point in their life where they feel they are missing something. If their family has been their focus for so long and all of a sudden they feel an emptiness in their life, then what else then to conclude that they need to compensate for it using another strategy in his/her quest for happiness (consciously or not)? This becomes a real struggle in someone's life. A real struggle. And very disorienting.

The important thing is to remember the true value of priorities. In being a witness or family member of someone going through this, it is important to remember your love of them and recognize that they may be going through an internal struggle that they will have to come to grips with. Meanwhile, if someone is going through this, the only way out (for complete healing--not a quick fix) is to evaluate what is really important. What is true happiness and what is the true source? How do I go about obtaining it? Once a plan is formulated (yes, make a plan and write it down) follow it in company with constant pleas to your Heavenly Father. He will help you find your way.