Gender Differneces

So, last week in class we discussed differences in gender.
I had to watch a video that expressed concern about the feminist movement, that still seems to be taking its toll. They interviewed women who, in my opinion, had some pretty extreme ideas.
They said women needed equality--in EVERY aspect of life. This ranged from equal job opportunities to more equality in the home and even equality in prices. In one region feminists were threatening law suits against salons that charged more to do women's hair vs. men's hair--even if they could prove that it took longer and was more difficult to cut a woman's. The video also reported a fire station which video-taped a training session of their fire fighters. The purpose of the tape was to resist law suits when they did not hire a group of women. The tape clearly showed that a woman could not chop down a door as quickly as a man could (and in some cases not at all) and had trouble handling equipment (ladders, fire hose, etc). Yet a woman argued that women should have the same opportunity as men--even if it involved expenditure of the state for the purpose of providing women fire fighters with electric saws and other equipment to facilitate their jobs.
Another woman, who was against women taking jobs they could not adequately fulfill, spoke of the fact that she would rather, as a taxpayer, be carried out of a burning building by an able fireman than to be drug our by the feet and suffer injuries to her skull. In response, a feminist woman said that it was probably better to drag people out that way so they didn't have to breathe in smoke. We were probably killing people by carrying them out!
All in all, I had to laugh at some radical opinions. Do I think women are good contributors to society? Yes of course. Do I think that women can do some jobs as well or better than men? Yes of course. But most of all, I agree with President Thomas S. Monson: "Equality of rights does not imply identity of functions."
It is indisputable that women and men are different. We exhibit different behaviors! We have different interests, different attributes, and different characteristics. Women are more nurturing, socially oriented, are more likely to experience negative emotions, more likely to turn to friends for advice and support, and more complaisant. Men tend to naturally more confident, think more objectively, and are not as likely as women to participate in self-disclosure.
This list has been proven by study after study. There is even evidence in the brain that there are these differences. Yet, there are those voices who shout, "Stop all research! Stop finding truth! It is degrading to our gender!" These voices are trying to collapse the family (though they don't see it that way, of course). Boyd K. Packer said, "Even so, leaders, and especially parents, should recognize that there is a distinct masculine nature and a distinct feminine nature essential to the foundation of the home and the family. Whatever disturbs or weakens or tends to erase that difference erodes the family and reduces the probability of happiness for all concerned."
When my husband and I got married and started living together these differences became more conspicuous. Trying to make the appropriate adjustments was challenging, but helped me realize something: we were becoming more perfected. As we were adjusting to foreign traits, we became more aware of our weaknesses and strengths. We were discovering what to improve on and what we could learn from each other. Instead of being a negative experience where we were trying to "fix" the other person, we were trying to please the other person and we grew in love and harmony.
We don't have children yet, but I imagine when we do, our different roles will become more apparent in our parenting style. We will see how we compliment each other and maintain our home's peaceful atmosphere differently. I am a strong believer that our different roles are beneficial to our growth and to Heavenly Father's plan for us. What an honor it will be for me to raise our children in our home. And what an honor it has been and will continue to be for my husband to be a provider, protector, and to preside in our home. Joseph Smith aid, "If you live up to your privileges [your honors] the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates."
Can you see what a beautiful thing this is? These opportunities are not for us to fight against or "kick against the pricks" (Acts 9:5), but to be embraced and cherished.
There is a divine role in womanhood. One more quote. But I don't mean this to be demeaning towards men at all. In fact, it was given by a great man: Howard W. Hunter. I merely quote him to stress the importance of women. We should not shy away from our divine gifts to become more like men. "I suppose you would say it is a man's viewpoint to throw a burden upon a woman tp maintain the stability and the sweetness of the marriage relationship, and the opportunity to encourage, uplift, teach, and be the one who sets the example in the family for righteous living. When women come to the point of realizing that it is more important to be superior than to be equal, they will find the real joy in living those principles that the Lord set out in his divine plan."

Social Classes

So this week in my class we discussed social classes. This doesn't mean just classes separated by economic value, but different lifestyle, different culture, economics...etc. The point was to prove how social classes plays a part in the family and how it functions. Families tend to be effected by their environment.
I had to watch a video that showed a couple that were engaged to be married, but they were discussing their difference of class. As the movie continued, the soon-to-be-husband became a little agitated because he was painted as the person from the lower class. He became a little defensive and embarrassed his fiance a little.
Since my husband and I have been dating, I definitely noticed a difference in our background. I come from a big city where the school systems are good (my high school was rated in the top ten in the nation while I was attending) and scholastically competitive. I was used to visiting friends with "posh" houses and public facilities everywhere were more than decent. In the city everything was available to you at all times. I was never in desperate need of anything (not to say I got everything I wanted because that was definitely not true - my parents wanted me to learn how to work hard). In addition to careful planning, my dad did very well in his job; therefore, he provided me and my siblings with wonderful opportunities. We were all very involved musically (this included expensive trips with our choirs and bands), scholastically, and with soccer for a time.
In contrast, my husband comes from a small town where the school systems were not that impressive. I'm pretty sure if I had attended there (or any of the students who graduated with me in honors) I would have been in the very top percentage of the class or valedictorian. I'm not saying that I am a brilliantly minded person, or that my husband is less so (he is actually very smart!), I am only pointing out the differences in our upbringing. My husband's school didn't sponsor a very successful program in the arts (which I'm not sure my husband would have taken advantage of) but apparently they did have a pretty competitive sports program. His graduating class was about a quarter of the size of mine. He was involved in a sport that would never really be conducive to the city. Falconry is something that I would have liked to watch, but it is definitely a country sport.
Where I had a healthy relationship with a group of real, genuine friends which banded together and really blessed my life, he did not. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time in High School, he couldn't wait to get away. My family stayed in the same area during my upbringing and I reaped the benefits of having a consistent, stable ward. He did not.
Again, this isn't to prove that our differences or lot in life has esteemed one person above the other. The point is that you could fairly say that there is a difference in our social class as it stands. I imagine that as we continue to grow together, our lives will continue to merge and our class will be considered one of the same. I am excited that we get to determine the "culture" our family will be cultivated in. But at the same time, as we are just starting out, it is good to recognize our differences of perspective and of life-style as just those: differences. Nothing is right or wrong - only familiar or foreign. We get to determine what we keep and what we throw out together. It will be an exciting journey.

Mothers

Happy Mother's Day!
Speaking of mothers, this week in one of my classes, my teacher had us draw family maps. These were a visual representation of our families and the relationships we had with them. For example, because my Dad and my Mom were always close and made decisions together while I was growing up, they would be placed close in proximity together and have a strong bond drawn around them.
I realized while I was drawing our my family, that we all had good relationships with each other and they were all pretty even. At least as far as I could tell. But interestingly enough I realized that my mother connected well with each of her children. This may be due to the fact that she only bore girls and girls tend to bond well emotionally through warm communication, but I think she was also a mother who always listened to the spirit. I will forever be grateful for that.
I remember many times where I would have a rough day and my mother would know just what to say at the right time. I remember, in some cases, I would resent what she said, because frankly, it was true. And the truth hurt. I would let the storm of my frustrations carry me to my room and I would try to disregard what she said. But then as the rain and lightning dissipated, I would inevitably realize that she was right. Every time. How would this be possible in all the episodes of my life had she not listened to the spirit? I am so grateful for my mother. I know that with her, I will Never be Alone.

Experimentation

In my Family Relations class we talked about the scientific method and studies that have been done and how those studies could be misleading. Different factors could contribute to false result. Not enough sample size, surveys that target a certain group of people, wording of questions, etc.
I began to think about why it is we even have studies and/or the scientific method. It all comes down to knowledge. We all desire knowledge! I think that this thirst for knowledge was one of the factors that drew Eve to the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. From the beginning, the great questions asked by Greek and Roman philosophers were: "What is knowledge?" "How do we obtain knowledge?" "How do we know that it is true?" The scientific method, I believe, was meant to answer those questions. Experiments are conducted so we can understand the world better.
But here is something to think about: We are asked to experiment in the gospel. Christ counseled, "… this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” (John 17:3.) But he also gave us a way to understand this. He also said, "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." (John 7:17) Is this not an experimentation? Christ is inviting us to do his will. Then will we know whether it is of God or mammon because we cannot serve both. And we will know it i of God if we are uplifted and edified. Also, in Alma, we hear of an experimentation on the word of Christ (Alma 32). This is how our faith is gained and then perpetuates more faith.
Anyway, I am grateful that we can know and recognize truth through the promptings of the Holy Ghost. We are so blessed that the Holy Ghost can testify of all truth and bear witness to us. We have a source of all knowledge that we have the privilege to learn from on a daily basis and have as our companion!